Another Version of Zarqawi’s death….

June 8, 2006 in Humor

BREAKING NEWS:

A high ranking member of democrat party chief’s (Howard Dean) staff who was the prime strategic planner for the democratic congressional committee and the Iraqi DNC outreach coordinator suffered a fatal accident this morning as he and several of his close associates were brunching in the quaint, sunny, tropical resort of Baqouba.

Apparently, Mr. Abu Musab Zarqawi and his staff were enjoying of simple repast of his favorite sweet melon salad, Jimmy Dean sausage and citrus spritzers chatting merrily on their cell phones with DNC operatives in Washington about the prospect of taking back Congress, when the line went dead.

The DNC later discovered that Mr. Z as he was affectionately called by his colleagues suffered a fatal interaction with a GBU-32 JDAM which hit him directly in his trademark beanie. The DNC complained that the JDAM device was a dirty political trick deployed by Republican operatives in Iraq with Bush’s full knowledge and approval. The White House later confirmed this accusation while dancing a jig, giggling and tauting Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid with the phrase: “Bring it on”.

The DNC stated in a press release that this further proves the extent that the “Culture of Corruption” erodes our and all peace loving person’s civil rights. They have also requested that the ACLU investigate if there was any violation of legal due process.

An anonymous but highly placed Republican pundit opined that the loss of Mr. Z will dampen the confidence of the DNC that they will retake the house, because of his key role in planning and strategy.

A non-sectarian memorial service is planned and his remains (all 6.5 grams) will be interred near the grave of Mr. Jimmy Hoffa.

Found this on the discussion boards of the Wall Street Journal and couldn't resist.